Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Game Balance Designer jobs? · Latest report #pn5ddrw9
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsPatch notes are just data entry that you pretend is art.
Professional math-tinkerer and forum-post-avoider.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect win rates without the human bias.
brr.you▸ METASIM PRO V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
simulates ten million matches while you sleep
You tweak numerical values in spreadsheets to adjust character performance. Then you write excuses for why nobody is happy.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a weird, intuitive sense of what feels fun, even when the math fails.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 9
Sensors scrape live player performance data to detect balance anomalies.
Month 5
Algorithms suggest optimal value changes based on win-rate goals.
Month 9
Scripting engines push balance updates directly to game client servers.
Month 14
Bots flood forums to validate the patch before players complain.
Month 18 · D-Day
The spreadsheet is deleted and your account access is revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.7%
98 Percent
Average patch salt level
4000 Rows
Spreadsheet rows per meta
Zero Humans
Community forums read
Your severance
A lifetime supply of skins nobody wants.
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