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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Gameday Sports Assistant jobs? · Latest report #ihri2c3u
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour most critical contribution is moving cables, which robots do better.
Professional cable-wrangler and press box hospitality enthusiast
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Press box precision without the commentary
no no noyouAI▸ STATSTREAM BOX-BOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates live stat synchronization across all outlets
You facilitate press box operations, manage statistical logging, and distribute media materials. Soon, telemetry sensors and automated distribution APIs will do this without needing breaks.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still awkwardly apologize to reporters when the Wi-Fi in the box drops.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Biometric check-in kiosks replace physical badge verification at the press gate entry.
Month 3
Automated mesh-network routers stabilize the press box Wi-Fi without human interference.
Month 7
Live game telemetry data feeds directly to publisher CMS platforms via API.
Month 12
Autonomous delivery carts handle the distribution of refreshments and hardware to workspaces.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your access badge is revoked as the press box goes fully autonomous and quiet.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
4 cups
Coffee consumed per match
12 entries
Stats logged per minute
3 incidents
Cables tripped over weekly
Your severance
One complimentary stadium hot dog and a firm handshake
Discussion
