Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Goon Cap Creator jobs? · Latest report #mamtp4i3
Your job has an expiration date
May 29, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYour handmade hats are just inventory waiting to be mass-produced.
Master of needle, thread, and inevitable obsolescence.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Stitching perfection without the human fatigue.
bzzt.youAI▸ CAPGENIUS PRO 5000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sews six panels perfectly in under ten seconds
You cut fabric patterns, sew panels into caps, and attach brims by hand. You manage raw material inventory daily.
The one thing AI can't do
You can judge the tension and grain of the fabric with a single touch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Software replaces hand-drawn cardstock templates with precision laser-cut geometry.
Month 7
Robotic tables slice through layers of fabric with zero waste.
Month 15
Robotic arms guide fabric edges under high-speed sewing heads.
Year 1.9
Pressure-controlled chambers shape brims to exact client specifications.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The factory floor runs autonomously while you find a new career.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
0.5
Caps per hour
12%
Fabric waste percentage
450
Average seams per day
Your severance
One free hat pattern and a polite email.
Discussion
