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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Goon Manager jobs? · Latest report #tz39ibb5
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsYou optimize the cannon fodder for a more efficient attrition rate.
Expert in attrition, low morale, and dungeon logistics.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated attrition for better dungeon flow.
help!youAI▸ MINION-MINDER V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends endless waves without requesting overtime
You track minion health stats and coordinate wave patterns. You ensure the lackeys hit their performance targets.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when the minions are about to quit mid-fight.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Software logs every minion performance stat automatically.
Month 5
Virtual reality rigs replace your boring morning pep talks.
Month 10
Smart crates distribute gear to minions without human intervention.
Month 15
Sensors detect slacking and flag the inefficiency for you.
Month 21 · D-Day
The system assumes full command of your entire dungeon workforce.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.5%
94 percent
Minion turnover rate
12 seconds
Average wave duration
Non-existent
Morale index
Your severance
A slightly used club and a severance letter.
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