Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Graduate Research Assistant jobs? · Latest report #jb6idhpj
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTrading your youth for citations while the database does it faster.
Professional spreadsheet builder and unpaid lab manager.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
PhD completion at the click of a button
splat.you▸ THESISPILOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
hallucinates credible citations with perfect formatting
You spend days manually cleaning data sets, drafting lit reviews, and running statistical models for a primary investigator.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who can confidently lie to a committee about a p-value.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated agents crawl archives to replace your manual library research.
Month 5
Clean data sets arrive already formatted, bypassing your manual spreadsheet work.
Month 10
Language models generate your lit reviews from the scraped data.
Month 15
Sensors manage the participants so you stop chasing them for data.
Month 18 · D-Day
The thesis is generated in seconds and you are officially redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.7%
12 liters
Coffee consumed per paper
0.04 percent
Probability of tenure
45,000
Data rows processed daily
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our peer-review rejection simulator.
Discussion
