Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Graduate Student Researcher jobs? · Latest report #7mhif37r
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsEnjoy your artisanal pipetting while the machines learn to clone you.
Future postdoc currently paying tuition with high-stress lab gruntwork.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating discovery so you can finally leave.
oof.youAI▸ BIOGRID LAB-MASTER V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
runs 1000 trials while you sleep
You spend your life managing liquid samples, documenting failed experiments, and begging for grant money. Your work is a repetitive dance of protocol adherence.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find genuine meaning in a completely failed, catastrophic laboratory result.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors begin recording your manual pipetting movements to feed the initial training algorithm.
Month 6
Cloud-based AI agents take over your documentation duties to eliminate human logging errors.
Month 12
High-precision robotic arms replace your hand for all standard liquid transfer tasks.
Month 18
Deep learning models predict optimal variables to bypass your trial-and-error cycle.
Year 2 · D-Day
Your terminal login is revoked as the system concludes your presence increases sample noise.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
42 liters
Coffee consumed per paper
92 percent
Grant application rejection rate
Infinite
Hours spent waiting for PCR
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to peer-reviewed rejection letters.
Discussion
