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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Growth Equity Analyst jobs? · Latest report #jkn2qxu6
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsFeeding deal flow to a machine that never needs a bonus.
Professional Excel martyr and weekend PowerPoint enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
The infinite spreadsheet that never sleeps.
toast.youAI▸ EQUITYSCAN CORE-7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters ten thousand pitch decks per second
Analysts scan data for investment targets and build financial models to assess the value of private companies.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the desperation in a founder's eyes during a pitch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Scraping engines identify growth-stage targets before you finish your coffee.
Month 6
Neural nets build the financial models while you are still sleeping.
Month 12
Generative models produce investment memos that partners actually enjoy reading.
Month 16
Automated scripts scan data rooms for red flags in seconds.
Month 19 · D-Day
The spreadsheet is fully autonomous and your login is revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
14,000
deals sourced per hour
zero hours
average sleep deprivation
0.00%
error rate on cap tables
Your severance
One free subscription to a premium coffee delivery service.
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