Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Growth Hacker jobs? · Latest report #s2iiavix
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsTrading actual value for a chart that always points up.
Serial pivot-er and connoisseur of empty dashboard metrics.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Metrics that matter, minus the human.
ow.youAI▸ GROWTHGRAPH V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates viral loops using synthetic engagement data
You chase vanity metrics using A/B tests and low-quality email drip campaigns to inflate user signups.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to the founders with a straight face during a board meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your spreadsheets are ingested by an autonomous analytics engine.
Week 9
Vision models identify and push winning design variants automatically.
Month 3
AI models generate personalized drip campaigns without manual intervention.
Month 4
Dashboards now refresh with optimized data projections.
Month 6 · D-Day
The GrowthGraph v9 manages your growth without needing any sleep.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.7%
84% fake
Average Vanity Metric
6 hours
Time spent on Slack
negligible
Real business impact
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to your own dead newsletter.
Discussion
