Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Hair Grower jobs? · Latest report #d6tcs67d
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2066
In 40 yearsBiologically slow, commercially inefficient, and completely prone to shedding.
Professional biological incubator of keratin fibers.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Accelerated dermal protein deposition units.
nom.you▸ FOLLICLEFORGE 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 40 YEARSAI's Special Power
accelerates cellular division beyond natural limits
You occupy space while follicles perform their slow, unpredictable chemical synthesis. Your only output is keratin strands.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only biological host capable of feeling the breeze in real time.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Sensors track blood chemistry to optimize protein synthesis paths.
Year 4
Localized laser arrays bypass biological signaling delays.
Year 8
Synthetic scalp grafts replace inefficient human base layers.
Year 19
Nanobot arrays weave keratin directly from atmospheric carbon.
Year 40 · D-Day
The biological host is decommissioned for superior synthetic hardware.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
Sub-optimal
Follicle density
Painfully slow
Growth speed
Unacceptable
Shedding rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium conditioner and regret.
Discussion
