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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Hairstylist and Barber jobs? · Latest report #9i2scwys
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsHuman-driven snipping is just a slow, emotional way to manage keratin.
Master of scalp maintenance and forced social intimacy.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect symmetry, zero unwanted life stories.
help!youAI▸ FOLLICLEFLOW 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates razor-sharp edges to micron precision
You perform precise shear-work, fading, and chemical treatments while engaging in mandatory small talk. You are a biological hair-reduction unit.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly how much a customer's life is falling apart by their split ends.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI takes over the booking queue to eliminate double-scheduling and optimize chair utilization rates.
Month 6
Robotic dispensers measure color formulas to the gram to remove human guesswork and chemical waste.
Month 16
Vision systems map scalp curvature and hair growth density to build a 3D digital head-blueprint.
Year 2.5
Precision robotic arms execute standard cuts and fades faster than any human hand could attempt.
Year 4 · D-Day
The chair is fully autonomous and all human social feedback loops are terminated for efficiency.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
12
Small talk cycles per hour
4%
Average error rate
Infinite
Coffee consumption
Your severance
One complimentary bald-headed portrait and a souvenir comb.
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