Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Hamster Wrangler jobs? · Latest report #y645aipg
Your job has an expiration date
December 5, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthSmall, aggressive rodents are just fuzzy biological hardware glitches.
Professional referee for tiny, angry, nocturnal, wheel-running chaos.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Tiny cages for tiny, non-biting machines.
glub.youAI▸ RODENTBOT SENTINEL 9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
intercepts small rodents with magnetic nets
You clean cages, monitor hamster health, and try to stop them from biting you. It is frantic work.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a hamster is plotting to escape through sheer bad attitude.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 10
Connected habitats track movement and automate water refills.
Month 9
Sensors alert the system when the cage needs cleaning.
Month 22
Gantry systems swap out bedding liners during sleep cycles.
Year 3
Soft-touch robotic grippers manage hamster movement without human intervention.
Year 4 · D-Day
The hamster is now a managed data point in a box.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.2%
4 per shift
Bite frequency
Very slow
Bedding change speed
Near zero
Wheel noise tolerance
Your severance
Two bags of premium sunflower seeds and silence.
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