Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Haunt Stage Manager jobs? · Latest report #jidasd3f
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsManaging fake screams is a surprisingly tedious way to avoid real work.
Master of the jump-scare, warden of the strobe light.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated terror at sub-zero maintenance costs.
no no noyouAI▸ FEARLOGIC NEXUS 7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
triggers jump scares with perfect timing
You coordinate scare actors, reset animatronics, and patch pneumatic lines for horror mazes. The machine does it better.
The one thing AI can't do
You know exactly which loose floorboard makes a teenager scream the loudest.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Optical tracking replaces manual actor cueing and floorboard monitoring.
Month 5
Self-healing hoses replace your nightly repair ritual.
Month 13
Legal waivers and incident reports are processed by AI.
Year 1.9
An algorithm manages break times and rotation efficiency.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The system runs the house without human intervention.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
100%
Actors kept on cue
Zero
Pneumatic valve failures
High
Fake blood efficiency
Your severance
A lifetime pass to a theme park that closed.
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