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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head Football Coach jobs? · Latest report #uh9tarxh
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYour clipboard is just a fancy prop for losing national TV games.
Expert in screaming at teenagers while wearing a headset.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimal win probability, zero locker room drama
toast.you▸ STRATEGOS-QB V.4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
optimizes fourth-down aggression using live telemetry
Coaches dictate game-day playbooks, scout opponents via film study, and manage roster performance under intense pressure. You lose games; our models calculate optimal win probability.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look disappointed enough to make a nineteen-year-old run until he pukes.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our software begins digitizing every play and player metric from your entire team history.
Month 10
The Strategos engine generates optimal offensive schemes that human intuition fails to identify under pressure.
Year 1.9
High-speed cameras and processors begin calculating real-time adjustments before you finish your next play call.
Year 2.7
Headsets begin delivering direct, noise-free analytical commands to the quarterback without human emotional interference.
Year 4 · D-Day
The final whistle blows on your career as the gantry takes control of the entire bench.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
99.8%
Play-calling accuracy
0%
Post-game press conference salt
Zero
Clock management blunders
Your severance
One complimentary stadium parking pass for life.
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