Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head Of Analytics jobs? · Latest report #9p689ayy
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou optimize for metrics that exist solely to justify your salary.
Professional spreadsheet architect and professional meeting attendee.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth without the middleman






squeeze.you▸ OMNISIGHT ENTERPRISE 8▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autogenerates executive summaries during your board meetings
You translate business needs into data queries and build dashboards to monitor company performance and strategy.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a confused CEO why the numbers look so depressing.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Smart agents connect directly to your database to pull live metrics.
Month 6
Automated visualization tools replace your manual spreadsheet building rituals.
Month 11
Large language models interpret business questions and write the SQL themselves.
Month 16
The system presents data directly to leadership without a human filter.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked and the compute cluster takes your position.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.1%
4000
Dashboards per day
12 percent
Human error rate
Zero
Meeting latency
Your severance
A one-year license to our legacy archive software.
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