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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head of Coffee Experience jobs? · Latest report #zdxmde3m
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsPretending your overpriced beans are a spiritual journey is finally automated.
Professional bean-snob and champion of the latte art.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect extraction, zero pretense.
split.youAI▸ BREWMASTER AI-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates flavor profiles to consumer psychographics
You manage flavor profiles, bean sourcing, and barista workflow. Your taste buds are being rendered obsolete by chemistry sensors.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle notes of burnt ego in a bad light roast.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Digital noses map your flavor profiles into a neural network.
Month 10
Machines adjust grinders and pressures without your clumsy interference.
Month 20
Software orders beans exactly when the stock levels drop.
Year 2.5
Precision arms replicate your latte art with mathematical perfection.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The shop runs entirely on cloud-managed, autonomous extraction units.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
42 per hour
Overused pretentious adjectives
120 kilograms
Coffee beans wasted annually
99 percent
Likelihood of smelling like beans
Your severance
A lifetime supply of instant coffee packets.
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