Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head Of Customer Outcomes jobs? · Latest report #y5k3nfjy
Your job has an expiration date
September 1, 2028
In 1 year, 10 monthsProfessionalizing the art of promising features that the engineering team hates.
Professional professional-waster of enterprise software stakeholders
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated empathy for better retention metrics.
oof.you▸ OUTCOMEGENERATOR 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
gaslights clients into liking the product anyway
You facilitate endless onboarding meetings and translate vague customer complaints into product tickets. Your job is basically a human game of telephone.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a client is bluffing about cancelling the subscription.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
An AI agent automatically schedules and takes notes on all your discovery calls.
Month 5
Real-time analytics replace your gut feeling about client retention risk.
Month 10
LLMs translate raw customer complaints directly into engineering specs without your intervention.
Month 16
Interactive walk-through agents replace the human guide in all client setups.
Month 22 · D-Day
The client platform now handles its own outcomes while you find a new career.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
48 per week
Meaningless Onboarding Syncs
92 percent
Tickets Ignored by Engineering
400 tokens
Jargon per minute
Your severance
One free trial of our automated exit interview bot.
Discussion
