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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head of Data and Measurement jobs? · Latest report #d2ffzeiu
Your job has an expiration date
February 14, 2028
In 16 monthsYou track the funnel until there is no human left to convert.
Professional translator of spreadsheets into buzzword-heavy slide decks.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated insight generation for smarter burn rates.
split.you▸ METRICSMASTER PRO V9.4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect vanity metrics for stakeholders
You oversee marketing performance metrics, lead analyst teams, and translate complex data into executive-level strategy reports.
The one thing AI can't do
You can convincingly lie to the board about why the CAC spiked again.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI agents begin writing the SQL queries you currently delegate.
Month 4
Automated tools replace your manual dashboard maintenance and cleanup.
Month 8
The machine generates data-driven strategy reports without human intervention.
Month 13
Your analysts are replaced by API-based automated reporting cycles.
Month 16 · D-Day
You receive a final automated email confirming your own total irrelevance.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.8%
0.02 seconds
Data pipeline latency
Instantaneous
Report generation speed
Non-existent
Strategy error rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to your own dead analytics platform.
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