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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head Of Investor Relations jobs? · Latest report #7wwnahz2
Your job has an expiration date
December 9, 2027
In 14 monthsTranslating quarterly losses into exciting growth narratives is now a prompt.
Master of the quarterly pivot and slide deck wizardry.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning red ink into green vibes instantly.
help!you▸ EQUITYNARRATOR V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters bad news through positive sentiment loops
You manage earnings calls and craft investor decks. You spend your days smoothing over volatility for skeptical analysts.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when the CEO starts lying to board members.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Language models generate earnings scripts based on raw financial data.
Month 3
Real-time AI bots suggest evasive answers during live analyst calls.
Month 6
Graphics engines update all investor decks automatically after market close.
Month 9
High-fidelity digital avatars hold meetings with investors around the clock.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of all shareholder communication channels.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.9%
99 percent
Spin complexity score
4 cups
Coffee consumed per call
Unlimited
Analyst questions deflected
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a premium news aggregator.
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