Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head of Product Owners jobs? · Latest report #7txbpcdk
Your job has an expiration date
December 9, 2027
In 14 monthsMoving Jira tickets until the company accidentally deletes its own revenue.
Professional prioritizer of things that never get built.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated roadmap alignment for maximum corporate indifference.
bzzt.youAI▸ SYNCPULSE EXECUTIVE-V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
reconfigures your entire sprint backlog in seconds
You spend days in grooming meetings, writing user stories, and arguing about roadmap priorities. Your output is mostly slides.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to the CEO about why the feature is delayed.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Software deletes all tickets older than two weeks without notification.
Month 3
A vision model generates product strategy based on competitor scraping.
Month 6
Daily standups are replaced by a dashboard that ignores everyone.
Month 10
An LLM writes all quarterly reports using randomly selected metrics.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system disables your login and sends a final summary.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
48 monthly
Average roadmap revisions
92 percent
Time spent in Zoom
11,000
User stories ignored
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our meeting-transcription service.
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