Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head of Quant Risk jobs? · Latest report #4e9zbyn5
Your job has an expiration date
September 1, 2028
In 1 year, 10 monthsYour black-box models are just spreadsheets that forgot how to sleep.
Professional gambler with a PhD and better manners.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifies uncertainty until it stops existing.
shred.you▸ RISKENGINE V8.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates positions before the market wakes up
You oversee complex market risk models for energy trades. You manage tail risk, volatility, and regulatory capital requirements.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie convincingly to regulators about why the model failed during a crisis.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors pull market data directly into the risk platform.
Month 5
AI models generate millions of scenarios faster than any human.
Month 10
Risk boundaries adjust in real time without your input.
Month 15
Software writes the compliance reports for the energy regulators.
Month 22 · D-Day
The machine assumes full control of the risk desk.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
12 percent
Annual model drift
45 hours
Time spent in meetings
3 weekly
Total Excel crashes
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a premium hedge-fund newsletter.
Discussion
