Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Head Of Sustainability jobs? · Latest report #u2uv9nc2
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTurning your carbon-offset daydreams into a spreadsheet of zero.
Professional guilt-manager, PowerPoint virtuoso, corporate saint.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated compliance, zero conscience.
bzzt.you▸ ECOORACLE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes carbon footprint to negative integers
You draft mission statements, audit supply chain emissions, and present ESG metrics to stakeholders. Your job is an expensive moral compass that runs on PowerPoint.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look a cynical board member in the eye while lying.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors and API integrations pull supply chain emission data directly from vendor databases.
Month 4
Large language models generate legally defensible ESG reports based on real-time corporate output.
Month 10
Predictive AI models simulate the financial impact of net-zero transitions without human emotional bias.
Month 15
Automated systems provide direct read-only compliance dashboards to third-party environmental auditors.
Month 19 · D-Day
The board officially outsources your conscience to a persistent server cluster in Iceland.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.9%
99.9%
Greenwashing buzzwords filtered
4,200
Quarterly reports generated
100%
Human guilt sessions eliminated
Your severance
A recycled paper certificate and an unsubscription to Slack.
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