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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Health And Wellness Coach jobs? · Latest report #m46nbm4c
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour empathy is just an expensive, inefficient algorithm with a heartbeat.
Professional listener and expert in expensive salad advice.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimising human output without the small talk.
split.you▸ WELLBOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends passive-aggressive hydration reminders at 3am
You track client goals, interpret biometric data, and offer motivational pep talks to maintain lifestyle accountability.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the genuine misery behind a client's forced smile during a check-in.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors pull all client wearable data directly into the cloud.
Month 5
Automated messaging systems replace your personalized weekly encouragement emails.
Month 10
Pattern recognition identifies dietary lapses faster than any human analysis.
Month 15
Deepfake avatars manage all standard video accountability check-ins.
Month 19 · D-Day
Clients prefer the machine because it never judges their pizza.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
0.02 seconds
Average pep talk delay
0 percent
Client ghosting rate
Infinite
Empathy simulation depth
Your severance
One free subscription to our fitness tracking app.
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