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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Health Media Officer jobs? · Latest report #84igunsc
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning your press releases into automated, unread misery.
Professional spinner of health policy and public panic.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Press releases without the human guilt.
split.youAI▸ BUREAUCRACYBOT V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters toxic inquiries through neural dampeners
Drafts health guidance and manages press inquiries. Handles media crises through reactive messaging and constant statement updates.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie with a straight face during a televised press conference.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI writes the initial press release draft in seconds.
Month 4
System automatically loops in stakeholders for digital sign-off.
Month 9
Smart agents route media inquiries to pre-generated template responses.
Month 15
Virtual agents simulate press grilling to predict interview outcomes.
Month 18 · D-Day
The machine handles all public communication without human interference.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.2%
4 hours
Average time spent writing a non-answer
22
Number of stakeholders ignored daily
3.5
Press release buzzwords per line
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the government press portal.
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