Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Health Outcomes Researcher jobs? · Latest report #hfnxyu3v
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning human misery into pivot tables for middle management.
Turning patient bed-days into quarterly earnings forecasts.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Numbers never get tired of suffering.
toast.you▸ DATACRUNCHER HEALTH 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimises mortality rates for maximum budget compliance
Analysing massive datasets to calculate patient recovery costs. You write reports that justify keeping healthcare costs low.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect when a data source is lying because the hospital staff hate typing.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Scripted pipelines now scrub your corrupted EHR inputs instantly.
Month 4
Neural nets identify recovery trends faster than any human statistician.
Month 8
The machine writes the white papers using your favorite jargon.
Month 13
AI predicts hospital margins without needing your quarterly updates.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your access to the server is revoked; enjoy the retirement.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
4 liters
Coffee consumed per report
142
Regression models run today
3 days
Meetings about data definitions
Your severance
A lifetime supply of generic spreadsheets.
Discussion
