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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Healthcare Investment Banker jobs? · Latest report #pezs6b99
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour pitch decks are just glorified spreadsheets with expensive leather covers.
Expert at turning hospital bankruptcies into elegant slide transitions.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing deals before you finish your steak.
squeeze.youAI▸ M-AND-A-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
models mergers while you sleep
You model drug patent lifecycles and pitch M&A deals to tired executives over overpriced steak dinners.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when a CEO is lying about their clinical trial results.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Sensors pull financial data directly from hospital accounting systems.
Month 5
AI predicts which pharma firms need to buy which labs.
Month 10
Software builds and formats all slide decks instantly.
Month 17
Executives query the deal bot directly for valuation updates.
Year 2 · D-Day
The final banker is removed to save on catering costs.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.6%
12 cups
Average coffee consumption
84 slides
Pitch deck slide count
4,200/yr
Meaningless synergy mentions
Your severance
A lifetime supply of overpriced protein powder.
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