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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Hedge Fund Consultant jobs? · Latest report #u3a7ij2i
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTurning your complex market theories into a single, efficient deletion command.
Professional slide-deck architect and spreadsheet whisperer.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating alpha while you take lunch.
pop?you▸ ALPHASYNTH MODEL 4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters market noise into pure profit
You build slide decks to justify risky bets and interpret market signals for distracted fund managers.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a client is lying about their risk tolerance during a dinner.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your pitch decks now auto-populate from live market feeds.
Month 5
The AI writes the investment memos you used to ghostwrite.
Month 10
System pulls data directly, removing your manual Excel crunching.
Month 15
Investors query the AI directly instead of calling you.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked; the algorithm handles all fund strategy.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
42
Slides built per week
3 cups
Coffee consumed before 9am
60 percent
Accuracy of market predictions
Your severance
A one-year subscription to your own Bloomberg terminal.
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