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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Hedge Fund Managing Director jobs? · Latest report #raki5hbq
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsYou bet billions on models that are already becoming the models.
Portfolio optimist, golfer, master of the fee structure.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior execution without the ego overhead.
ow.youAI▸ ALPHASYNTH EXECUTIVE V7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
rebalances your entire portfolio in five milliseconds
You allocate capital across complex asset classes and manage high-net-worth investor relationships to generate alpha.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to an investor about a bad quarter with genuine confidence.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our sensors start scraping your emails to learn your trade logic.
Month 6
The AI starts suggesting trades that outperform your current desk.
Month 12
Virtual assistants begin handling your quarterly investor performance updates.
Month 16
The system assumes full control over the firm's capital allocation.
Year 2 · D-Day
We replace your office with a high-speed liquid cooling server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
0.0001%
Alpha variance
42
Annual golf rounds
99.9%
Performance fee capture
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis terminal.
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