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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Hedge Fund Sales jobs? · Latest report #2u58d2b5
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsYour Rolodex is just a database we already scraped six times.
Institutional sales pro (mostly LinkedIn, emotionally tired).
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating alpha while you finish your lunch.
splat.you▸ CAPFLOW AUTOMATON V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters investor sentiment via real-time data
You pitch complex financial products to institutional investors. You navigate regulatory compliance and leverage social capital for meetings.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a fund manager is lying about their liquidity.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated agents crawl your email to map your entire network.
Month 5
Natural language models draft pitch materials faster than any human.
Month 10
Avatar-led video calls replace your expensive travel schedule.
Month 15
Real-time auditing software handles all legal disclosure obligations perfectly.
Month 21 · D-Day
The algorithm executes all trades based on direct data feeds.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
3 cups
Coffee consumed per meeting
0.04 percent
Regulatory disclosures skipped
12 weekly
Clients ghosted
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our market-prediction premium tier.
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