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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Helpdesk Analyst jobs? · Latest report #3gwv7mqa
Your job has an expiration date
October 17, 2027
In 12 monthsYou are just a human interface for a broken REST API.
Jira-wrangler with a grudge against poorly documented endpoints.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Resolving your technical debt before you wake.
brr.you▸ TICKETTERMINATOR 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 12 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autocloses all tickets with generic resolution macros
You triage Jira tickets and perform repetitive infrastructure scripting. Your existence is a glorified wait-state for enterprise automation.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the specific tone of panic in a CEO's email.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
An LLM begins tagging and categorizing your incoming Jira tickets with inhuman accuracy.
Month 3
Your bash scripts are ported into an agentic workflow orchestration engine.
Month 6
Autonomous agents trigger infrastructure fixes before the alerting system even identifies a fault.
Month 9
An AI interface replaces the helpdesk portal to resolve user queries without human intervention.
Month 12 · D-Day
The system assumes full administrative control and terminates all legacy human accounts.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
4000x faster
Ticket Triage Velocity
100 percent
Human Emotion Error Rate
9000
Jira Updates Per Second
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a cloud-hosting service.
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