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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Helpdesk Escalation Specialist jobs? · Latest report #rj882kth
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsTurning your infinite backlog into a single, efficient database error.
Professional triage artist, master of the 'did you reboot?'
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing tickets before the user realizes them.
squeeze.you▸ TICKETTERMINATOR V.4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
auto-resolves tickets with circular logic loops
You triage technical escalations by deciphering mangled ticket logs and patching user-induced chaos. You are the final wall between broken systems and corporate sanity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still detect the unique cadence of panic in a user's voice.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Your chat logs and ticket closures are ingested to train a predictive resolution model.
Month 3
Automated scripts begin auto-replying to common tickets using your historical logic chains.
Month 6
The AI assumes control of remote-access tools to execute patches without human intervention.
Month 10
JIRA workflows are redesigned to route only impossible edge-cases to human contractors.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system achieves 99.9% resolution rate, rendering your specialized technical insight entirely obsolete.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.6%
0.02ms
Mean Time To Close
100%
Ticket Boredom Index
None
Human Error Tolerance
Your severance
One free subscription to a mindfulness meditation app.
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