Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Higher Education Analytics Consultant jobs? · Latest report #kgq95xaj
Your job has an expiration date
February 15, 2028
In 16 monthsYour pivot tables are just fancy tombstones for tuition money.
Turning university chaos into colorful but ignored bar charts.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning institutional chaos into clean spreadsheets.
no no noyouAI▸ ACADEMIABOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect enrollment outcomes before meetings start
You transform enrollment data into slide decks. You attempt to herd cats through various administrative special projects.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a department chair is about to lie about budget figures.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated scripts scrape every departmental spreadsheet into a central lake.
Month 4
Natural language models generate the executive summary slides automatically.
Month 8
A chatbot manages the scheduling and sends out meeting agendas.
Month 12
The AI predicts enrollment drops before the dean even notices.
Month 16 · D-Day
Administrative insight is fully delegated to the central server cluster.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.1%
4000 rows
Pivot table output per hour
18
Meaningless meetings per week
Excessive
Consultant buzzword density
Your severance
A LinkedIn recommendation and one broken office chair.
Discussion
