Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Higher Education Fundraiser jobs? · Latest report #3fb5b6b6
Your job has an expiration date
February 8, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsYou sell imaginary legacy to people who already have too much.
Professional guilt-tripper for ivy-covered ivory towers.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating guilt and legacy one email away.
split.youAI▸ DONORBOT PROSPECTOR▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates the exact guilt-inducement pitch
Building donor pipelines and hosting high-pressure dinners to solicit major gifts for university endowments.
The one thing AI can't do
You can authentically laugh at a billionaire's mediocre joke during a fundraiser dinner.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI begins drafting your donor outreach emails automatically.
Month 5
Machine learning identifies which donors will actually sign.
Month 10
Bot handles all recurring donor gratitude and report mailings.
Month 16
System starts personalized phone campaigns using voice cloning tech.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
The bot closes the deal while you are still commuting.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
42 to 1
Coffee-to-donation ratio
89%
Donor retention boredom
12 per year
Endowment vanity projects
Your severance
A commemorative brick in a building you never entered.
Discussion
