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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Highschool Basketball Coach jobs? · Latest report #3puu6e6d
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2029
In 3 yearsTeaching teenagers how to run plays that they will inevitably ignore anyway.
Professional dream crusher and whiteboard enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Data-driven plays for losing streaks.
stretchy.youAI▸ COURTMASTER COACHBOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
projects perfect shooting arcs on the court
You manage team rosters, conduct practice drills, and yell instructions from the sidelines during high-pressure games.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a teenager has stopped listening to your tactical instructions.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Vision models instantly map every player movement for coaching reviews.
Month 5
Algorithms predict player performance based on stats and practice effort.
Month 13
Players receive play diagrams directly on their wearable devices.
Year 2.1
Real-time probability engines calculate the optimal play for every possession.
Year 3 · D-Day
The coach is retired as the automated sideline terminal assumes control.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4.2
Average halftime temper tantrums
98%
Playbook pages ignored by players
115
Whistle volume decibels
Your severance
A vintage whistle and a box of cold donuts.
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