Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Hockey Goalie jobs? · Latest report #t3p5wg7i
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2030
In 4 yearsA wall of meat is expensive and surprisingly easy to leak.
Professional human wall, expert in butterfly transitions.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Goal prevention through superior physics.
bzzt.youAI▸ NETGUARDIAN PRO-SERIES▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
tracks every puck trajectory perfectly
You track puck trajectories and block shots using reflex-based positioning and gear manipulation. Your knees hate you forever.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still intimidate a breakaway skater by staring them down through your visor.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
High-speed vision sensors map every puck trajectory in real-time.
Month 6
Algorithms learn to predict shooter patterns faster than any human.
Month 15
Pneumatic actuators replace human hands to catch high-speed shots.
Year 2.5
A high-speed gantry system covers the entire net perimeter.
Year 4 · D-Day
The league replaces goalies with NetGuardian units for pure efficiency.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
32
Average saves per game
40 years
Knee replacement timeline
Infinite
Puck impact tolerance
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium ice tape.
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