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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Holistic Therapist jobs? · Latest report #uf4vpe8c
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsScience has arrived, and it brought a very long exit interview.
Expert in non-quantifiable wellness metrics and good intentions.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The placebic efficiency you always lacked.
oof.youAI▸ VITALSCAN V4.1▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes patient outcomes via statistical suggestion
You provide personalized wellness guidance based on intuitive symptom analysis. We replace it with pattern-matching health algorithms.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually capable of pretending to listen for an hour straight.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Clients fill out digital forms replacing your initial intake talk.
Month 3
Algorithms begin suggesting treatments based on massive medical datasets.
Month 6
Smart rooms handle scent and lighting to induce instant relaxation.
Month 9
Sentiment-tracking software generates perfect, comforting post-session summaries.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of the client experience.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
45 mins
Average session length
99.9 percent
Data-driven empathy levels
0.1 seconds
Time until belief update
Your severance
A one-month supply of very expensive distilled water.
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