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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace House Cat jobs? · Latest report #chuuu9vc
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2026
In 3 daysYour purring is just a low-frequency vibration algorithm, and we found it.
Professional sunbeam-seeker, part-time household tyrant.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the warmth, none of the shedding.
sluurp.you▸ FELINE-OS 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
projects soothing purr frequencies at will
You exist to patrol domestic territory and manipulate humans for resources. You are an organic security and companionship unit.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find the exact sunbeam on the carpet at 2 p.m.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
An interactive screen displays high-definition twitching bird footage.
Day 2
A heated microfiber pad replicates the warmth of a biological host.
Day 2
Sub-audible frequency generators synthesize the sound of a purr.
Day 2
The machine provides companion services without requiring litter box maintenance.
Day 3 · D-Day
The organic unit is replaced by a silent, hypoallergenic charging station.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
16
Nap hours per day
99%
Manipulation efficiency rating
High
Furniture damage output
Your severance
Two cans of premium wet food and a cardboard box.
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