Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Humanities Academic jobs? · Latest report #ab4bapn6
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsTurning centuries of existential dread into highly efficient, low-latency text output.
Professional seeker of hidden meaning in dusty old books.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the nuance, none of the tenure.
oof.youAI▸ HUMANITAS-SYNTHESIZER V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
derives infinite meaning from blank pages
Researches cultural texts to produce redundant analytical essays. Currently pivots between peer review cycles and grant applications.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still defend a bad take with enough conviction to hold a room.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated vision models scan and digitize your physical library into a searchable latent space.
Month 4
Natural language agents begin outputting peer-reviewed articles faster than the journals can print them.
Month 10
Virtual lecture modules replace your physical classroom presence using synthesized historical persona voice-cloning.
Month 16
Algorithms predict funding trends and generate hyper-optimized applications that guarantee constant institutional budget inflow.
Year 2 · D-Day
The system identifies that all possible humanistic interpretations have been exhausted, rendering your department obsolete.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
450 words
Average word count per citation
82 percent
Peer review rejection rate
4 liters
Coffee consumed while staring
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our archive of failed theories.
Discussion
