Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace IKEA Sales Associate jobs? · Latest report #uafxeyhr
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsYou guide people to Billy bookcases until they inevitably get lost again.
Professional wanderer of the maze of Swedish particle board.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The warehouse floor, mapped and solved.
split.youAI▸ PATHFIND-X 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
redirects lost families to the cafeteria
You walk the showroom floor to maintain displays and point customers toward the nearest warehouse exit.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a couple is about to break up over a sofa.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Interactive kiosks replace your verbal directions to the sofa section.
Month 10
Cameras track displaced cushions and trigger stockroom alerts automatically.
Month 20
Small units escort customers through the showroom without complaining once.
Year 2.6
Displays move on tracks to optimize flow without manual labour.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The warehouse is fully optimized for machines that never lose their way.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
22,000
Average steps walked per shift
4,200
Seconds spent explaining meatballs
114
Customers currently lost in lighting
Your severance
One Swedish meatball voucher and a hex key.
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