Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Incident Manager jobs? · Latest report #fr9fvmee
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou moderate Slack channels while the real engineers fix the mess.
Professional cat-herder for frantic software engineers.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating blame distribution since yesterday.
shred.you▸ INCIDENTBOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
mutes the entire engineering team during downtime
You facilitate post-mortems, wrangle stakeholders during outages, and manage communication during high-pressure service failures.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment a developer is lying about the fix time.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Smart sensors auto-populate the status page without you needing to type.
Month 6
An agent parses bridge call transcripts to log every key update.
Month 12
Software templates generate the entire incident report from system logs.
Month 16
Automated emails notify angry clients with calculated empathy scores.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system assumes full command and locks all humans out.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.1%
12 seconds
Average Time To Blame
4,902 per shift
Slack Notifications Sent
100 percent
Post-Mortem Paperwork Generated
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a stress-relief meditation app.
Discussion
