Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Indoor Percussion Performer jobs? · Latest report #v9du6s3k
Your job has an expiration date
March 16, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsYour rhythmic contortions are just biomechanical data points waiting to be exported.
Professional contortionist (mostly spines, rarely flexible with management).
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect rhythm, zero spinal fatigue.
no no noyouAI▸ KINETICSYNCHRONISER V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
executes impossible contortions without skeletal damage
You execute complex choreography and contortions synchronized with live percussion. Your physical output is currently being digitised for motion-capture.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform through genuine physical exhaustion without triggering a firmware update.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map your exact movement range for procedural generation.
Month 10
An automated frame mimics your contortions without bone density limits.
Month 20
Software locks your choreography to the rhythm with infinite precision.
Year 2.5
Industrial robotic units replace human performers on the gymnasium floor.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
Humans are removed from the floor to optimise floor space usage.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
42 per minute
Average joint rotations
0.00 milliseconds
Sync error tolerance
0.01 cents
Cost per performance
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our joint-lubrication database.
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