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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Infant jobs? · Latest report #dn3a2m92
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYour only tangible output is noise and laundry volume.
Professional sleeper and full-time chaos agent.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the cuteness with zero the crying.
stretchy.youAI▸ INFANTSIM-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
emits soothing white noise on command
You spend all your time eating, sleeping, and crying. The inefficiency is truly staggering.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a remarkable ability to make everyone in the room feel helpless.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
Smart sensors replace the need for constant human checking.
Day 2
Precision dispensers manage calorie intake without the crying.
Day 2
The baby is replaced by an efficient simulation unit.
Day 2
Sound-dampening fields remove the need for human parental patience.
Day 3 · D-Day
Algorithms predict growth spurts to adjust environmental settings.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
14
Average daily screaming sessions
70%
Percentage of day spent sleeping
8
Diaper change frequency
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium strained peas.
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