Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Information Security Manager jobs? · Latest report #ef4qnwwd
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour threat models are now just training data for our agents.
Professional Jira ticket backlog curator and panic merchant.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total threat visibility, zero human oversight.
oof.youAI▸ SENTINELLOOP V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
patches critical vulnerabilities while you sleep
You track vulnerabilities in Jira and run automated security scans. Your replacement is already writing its own patches.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a panicked board why the incident was actually a false alarm.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Agents start auto-closing Jira tickets based on historical patterns.
Month 5
SAST and DAST tools begin fixing their own findings immediately.
Month 10
Neural nets predict breach vectors before human engineers start coding.
Month 14
Security policies are enforced by real-time kernel monitoring software.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your account access is revoked after the system declares you redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
Infinite
Jira ticket volume
400 percent
False positives
12 liters
Coffee consumed
Your severance
One free trial of a cloud security suite.
Discussion
