Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Institutional Researcher jobs? · Latest report #3h5qmz65
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsTurning centuries of institutional data into one very sad bar chart.
Master of the unreadable PDF and the buried CSV.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Facts extracted faster than you can find them.
splat.you▸ DATAMINING-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
exports all datasets without asking questions
You spend your days aggregating student outcomes and survey data for government compliance and internal planning reports.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only person who knows where the weird 2012 data set lives.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
Smart scripts replace your manual Excel scrubbing routines.
Week 12
Database agents pull the reports before they are even requested.
Month 7
Software files federal reports directly to the government agency.
Month 11
AI models generate the executive summary slides automatically.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system disables your login and deletes your templates.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
4 per day
Pivot table errors
12 daily
Requests ignored
87 percent
Hours spent on formatting
Your severance
A one-year license to an outdated stats software package.
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