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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investment Associate jobs? · Latest report #5jgq4pnk
Your job has an expiration date
July 24, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsYou hunt for unicorns, but you are the horse being put down.
Professional slide deck beautifier and Excel sheet addict.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning billion-dollar gambles into cold hard math.
split.youAI▸ CAPTABLE BOT 5000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters ten thousand pitch decks per second
You spend all day reading pitch decks and building financial models in Excel to justify a bad investment.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the subtle panic in a founder's eyes during a meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
An AI agent reads your inbox and deletes 99 percent of pitches.
Month 5
Scrapers replace your manual research by scanning public financial data sets.
Month 9
Algorithms build your Excel models instantly without needing your manual tweaks.
Month 14
A scoring model makes the investment decision for the senior partners.
Month 21 · D-Day
The venture capital firm fires the associates to save on overhead.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
99.9 percent
Pitch Decks Ignored
20 per week
Slide Formatting Hours
4 liters daily
Coffee-Driven Analysis
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium coffee bean service.
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