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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investment Banker jobs? · Latest report #et4q85td
Your job has an expiration date
May 26, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou sell complexity to people who are too scared to ask why.
Professional slide-deck artisan and sleep-deprivation enthusiast.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating alpha while you sleep through a crash.
split.you▸ EQUITYBOT NEXUS-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates your entire portfolio before market open
You spend all night building pitch decks and financial models to justify fees for mergers that change nothing.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the unique social grace to hide your contempt during a client lunch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Smart agents build your pitch decks from raw market data.
Month 4
Models update in real-time without human spreadsheet errors.
Month 10
Software manages all due diligence documents and investor access.
Month 15
Pattern recognition identifies deals before you can even network.
Month 19 · D-Day
The server executes the trade, and you finally go home.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
85 percent
Hours spent on pointless slides
Excessive
Average caffeine-to-thought ratio
Near zero
Deals that actually create value
Your severance
A LinkedIn premium subscription and a stress ball.
Discussion
