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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investment Fund Manager jobs? · Latest report #8nxpppvi
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsPredicting the market is hard, but replacing you is a bargain.
Portfolio overseer, chart enthusiast, quarterly email professional.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior returns, zero ego, never sleeps.
splat.you▸ ALPHABOT ARBITRAGE V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
executes high-frequency trades while you blink
You allocate capital, analyze quarterly reports, and gamble with institutional money. We just have faster math.
The one thing AI can't do
You can lie to clients about performance with just the right amount of eye contact.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our software begins tracking your trades to mimic your best patterns.
Month 5
The AI drafts all your investor letters using market data templates.
Month 10
The machine takes over small portfolio segments to test strategy efficiency.
Month 15
Clients are migrated to the software interface for real-time portfolio management.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked and the terminal is set to read-only.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
Statistically negligible
Average alpha generated
Too much
Coffee consumed
Eternal
Meetings about nothing
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a premium stock ticker.
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