Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investment Performance Analyst jobs? · Latest report #j27jdhyg
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour spreadsheets are just ghosts waiting to be exorcised by an API.
Professional spreadsheet sculptor and PowerPoint narrative weaver.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Numbers never get tired of losing money.
brr.you▸ YIELDBOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects returns that never actually happen
You calculate portfolio returns and explain why the benchmark beat the fund. It is all math and storytelling.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a client with enough confidence to avoid a lawsuit.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors pull raw trade data directly into the dashboard.
Month 4
Logic scripts catch and fix trade breaks without your input.
Month 8
Algorithms calculate portfolio performance stats in real time.
Month 13
Language models write the narrative for client reports.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your login is revoked while the server keeps working.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
Infinite
Spreadsheet rows processed
Negligible
Alpha generated by humans
Too much
Coffee consumed per quarter
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium stock ticker app.
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