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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investment Performance Specialist jobs? · Latest report #e639syu8
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou are just a spreadsheet filter with a better LinkedIn profile.
Professional translator of panic into manageable ticket requests.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Translating business intent into automated data pipelines.
squeeze.youAI▸ FIDELITY-LOGIC V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates sql queries during your morning coffee
You interpret business needs for engineers and clean up data errors in Snowflake spreadsheets.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a stakeholder is lying about why their data is broken.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI starts auto-tagging your business requests for the engineering team.
Month 4
Automated scripts begin identifying and patching common price discrepancies overnight.
Month 8
LLMs replace the manual effort of writing SQL from business emails.
Month 13
Business users interface directly with the data model via natural language.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system assumes full control and your access tokens are revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.1%
4000
Spreadsheets processed per second
100%
Average meeting time saved
99.9%
Snowflake data integrity score
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our internal training database.
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