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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investment Portfolio Manager jobs? · Latest report #4jiy57kn
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour alpha is just a random walk with higher management fees.
Professional spreadsheet jockey with a Bloomberg terminal addiction.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior returns without the expensive lunch meetings.
glub.youAI▸ ALPHACORE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
rebalances your entire portfolio in one millisecond
You track market volatility to rebalance client asset allocations and chase quarterly performance benchmarks for high-net-worth portfolios.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a client’s face while the fund bleeds out.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart agents pull your market news and feeds much faster.
Month 4
Algorithms begin executing routine rebalancing trades without your input.
Month 8
Generative models produce all client summaries and market outlooks.
Month 14
Investors realize they prefer low-fee bots over your expensive opinions.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your terminal access is revoked and your portfolio is automated.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
Negative
Average alpha generation
45 Gallons
Coffee consumed per quarter
1200
Email apology drafts
Your severance
A complimentary subscription to a passive index fund.
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