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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investor Relations Analyst jobs? · Latest report #94ezqbc4
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou craft spreadsheets to explain why the bank is hemorrhaging money.
Professional spinner of disappointing quarterly earnings reports.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truthful earnings reports without the human spin.
help!you▸ EQUITYECHO-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters bad news through positive corporate syntax
You synthesize financial data into quarterly presentations and manage communication between bank executives and curious, demanding institutional investors.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment an analyst is about to panic during a call.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Sensors pull financial data directly into the earnings model.
Month 6
AI agents handle routine investor emails with cold efficiency.
Month 11
Text-to-speech engines read scripts with manufactured boardroom confidence.
Month 16
Algorithms automatically verify regulatory filings before final submission.
Month 19 · D-Day
The entire investor relations department is replaced by one server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.6%
142
Quarterly slides produced
89%
Emails ignored from analysts
4000
Hours spent fixing cells
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium financial news terminal.
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